Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful to have a job and one that keeps our heads above water. But I wasn't made for this. I don't think anyone was. It's literally soul killing.
I do enjoy meeting new people and talking to folks and trying to help them any way I can. I enjoy my co-workers. But my love is not here, my heart is not here.
My only hope is that this is one of those posts that I'll be able to return to years down the road and say 1) God had me there for a reason
2) Although it felt like an eternity, it was only for a little while,
3) I never have to worry about going back to something like that ever again.
Of course when your dream is to farm full-time, write,and live off or rather in and on the land, being in the heart of the city is akin to a type of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual prison. After all, that's why folks flee to our area on the weekends and for extended vacation. Their hearts are calling them to return to nature, to peace, to quiet.
It is difficult to cultivate a farm life when 2 hours per day are spent commuting and 10 hours are spent sitting or standing or drinking coffee. It is difficult but not impossible. I've not given up hope but instead have become more creative and always keep the dream before my eyes. It's the only way anyone makes a dream reality. It's the only way to influence and change the future.
When I think of how things are, darkness enters my mind. When I think of how things could be and will be, light and joy enter in. I'll continue the with those thoughts.
This blog is about our little farm and it's growth. Unlike the rest of the internet or Facebook, not every day is smiles and happiness. There is real struggle, trials, sadness, loss as well as joy, victory, and peace. Not every post will be smiles but not every bad day lasts, thankfully.
Hey, thanks for reading this far. Here's what I hope one day is my normal view...
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